Childbirth Recovery: My Postpartum Story & Tips for Recovery

I see a lot of birth stories online–and they are amazing to read. But I hadn’t really read any recovery stories. And while not as beautiful and tear-inducing as birth stories, I think they’re still important to share. Maybe if I had read some, I wouldn’t have been so shocked by the experience.

Everyone talks about how childbirth is hard, and yea, it’s really hard! You’re pushing a baby out of a space that truly doesn’t seem like a baby should fit out of. I was prepared for childbirth to be painful. I was not prepared for what comes after childbirth. Everyone is super focused on labor, and for good reason–it’s bringing life into the world and is the culmination of 9+ months of preparing and waiting.  That being said, I think there is a lack of sharing and information about the moments and months that comes after labor and how intense and challenging the recovery can be.

I recently have been sharing a bit of my recovery on Instagram and have gotten so many messages from other women sharing their stories. It makes me feel so much better to know that that I’m not alone. Also a major comment from other women is that the recovery is not talked about nearly enough. So I’m talking! And I hope you will too.

Prepping for Childbirth & Postpartum Recovery

I took a childbirth class and there was some discussion of recovery. They mentioned we should use a squirt bottle after each time we pee because it will burn and that we’ll be wearing pads for a few weeks because of postpartum bleeding. Maybe I wasn’t paying close attention, but I think that’s really all they told us! I don’t feel I was properly informed about what to expect, both from that class and from the midwife who performed my labor.

I’m writing this post to share my experience. I’m not writing it to scare other women. Some women have really easy recoveries and are up the next day strolling their baby around town. And some women have it so much harder than me. I actually think my experience is pretty middle of the road. As I talk to more people about recovery, I hear more and more stories similar to mine. Which is all the more surprising why I didn’t know any of this in advance! I also know that I am lucky to have had a complication-free delivery and a healthy baby.

Part of me feels like I’m throwing my recovery out of proportion since other women have much harder experiences, but I also know that we all have our own journey and whatever we experience, it’s real and important to share.

Whatever your experience is, it’s helpful to know you’re not alone. And it’s okay for recovery to suck and to take way longer than you thought it might.

Post-Birth & Recovery

I shared Millie’s birth story HERE. What I didn’t share in that post is that after Millie was born, while we were sharing our skin-t0-skin time, the midwife was dealing with my post-labor tear. She didn’t actually say anything to me, she just got to work. Thankfully I had an epidural so while labor was painful, after Millie was out, I didn’t feel a thing. I’m not sure how long she was working on the stitches but it honestly felt like a long time (30-45+ minutes? an hour? I really have no idea). As soon as she was done and Matt and I both had our skin-to-skin time with Millie we were rolled upstairs to our recovery room. The midwife didn’t mention anything about the stitches, recovery or how things were looking.

I spoke briefly with the nurse, she said didn’t know what type tear it was but her guess was Stage 3 because Stage 4 would require a trip to the OR. I didn’t even know there were stages or what they meant. She also said it would hurt it sit for a while. I assumed a while meant a couple of days. Thankfully Matt was smart enough to ask her what “a while” meant. She said 4-6 weeks. That kind of blew my mind, but at the time of this discussion I was still totally numb from the waist down so I wasn’t too concerned. Surely she meant minor discomfort.

While we were in our recovery room the epidural wore off and I cannot describe the pain I felt. I was in tears, shaking (a common experience after labor) and also was feeling a general sense of surprise because I was not prepared for this pain at all. The nurses and doctors did not warn me.

The nurse told me that the midwife had prescribed a narcotic (the same one they prescribe to women who get a c-section). I asked questions about side effects to which she said there were none. This nurse was not a great communicator and I didn’t feel like I was in good hands. She was speaking to me in a very negative tone and was not encouraging or helpful.

I asked to speak to a midwife or OB to get more information on the drug before I could make a decision. A different midwife than the one who had delivered Millie came in and said she did not recommend the drug because it causes constipation (horrible during labor recovery), can make me feeling dizzy/out of it, and because so many people get addicted to opioids.

I then requested yet another opinion since I just received two that were in direct contrast with each other. An OB came in and said she did recommend it, but a smaller dose than initially prescribed, and to take it for one day and then re-evaluate. This OB also looked at my chart and explained I had a Stage 2 tear but it was deep and had a challenging repair which is why I was in so much pain. It was shocking to me that no one else was giving me this information sooner and that I had to really push to get the full story.

This was one of the worst parts of my childbirth experience because I felt like I wasn’t given proper information and couldn’t make an informed decision. Also the pain. The takeaway from this is to ask questions and don’t be worried about offending the nurse/midwife/doctor. If you need another opinion or feel like you aren’t being heard, speak up. When you’re in a hospital it can feel like you just want to trust whoever is telling you to do something, but as is evident here, different practitioners can have different opinions so you need to advocate for yourself to make sure your needs are met.

I took the narcotic for day 1 and then switched to other/lighter meds. I still felt pretty terrible but far better than I did initially.

The first day or two after Millie’s birth was incredibly hard. I was in a lot of pain, couldn’t sit or stand (just had to lay on my side). On top of that, add in hormones, which basically go crazy after childbirth. I was feeling totally overwhelmed and incredibly sad that I had this beautiful baby sitting in a bassinet just feet from me, but I couldn’t stand up to hold her and care for her. I think this is the case with a lot of women after labor and these feelings are okay to have. All I wanted was to soak in these first few days of her life and experience all the joy that goes along with it, but the pain made me feel like I couldn’t fully enjoy these moments.

Eventually, I started to feel better. By day 2 I could sort of stand up (though hunched over), went on a very short walk down the hall, and eventually took a shower (which felt incredible). I could then eventually stand and hold Millie and could sort of sit as well.

We were given the option of staying another night or going home. We opted to stay one more night and I’m so glad we did.

Heading Home

By the next day I could walk a little better and we made our way home with Millie.

My recovery at home steadily got better but the first two weeks were not fun. The recovery can feel very slow because it’s not like you can just sleep it off, you’re caring for a newborn!

I figured I’d be up and walking within a couple of days. Though I could walk, my walks were very short and slow. Some days I could make it around the block once, other days I made it a few blocks away. By about 4 weeks I was feeling more energized. I’m now 6 weeks postpartum and feel worlds better, almost healed. At this point I’m not experiencing pain, just discomfort at times.

It’s still pretty shocking to me how hard and slow the recovery has been. Since being open about it I realized that I am not alone in this recovery and so many women that I know have gone through very similar experiences, though I never knew about it.

I think we all focus on the beautiful new baby those first few weeks but we rarely discuss the challenges of recovery. Obviously we want to focus on the baby and that is a major focus! But it’s also okay to talk about things being hard and painful and not what you expected.

Don’t be afraid to share these experiences, and if you have a friend that just went through labor, make sure to check in and ask how she’s doing (in addition to how baby is doing!). There are so many challenges those first few weeks, like breastfeeding issues, sleep deprivation and struggling through everyday activities like sitting and walking.

All of this being said, it’s 100% worth the pain and challenges to bring a baby into the world. I’d do it again in a heartbeat! Our hope is to have two kids, so yea, I’d take on the experience again, though I do hope the next time around is easier!

And now a few surprises and tips for those approaching labor.

6 Things That Surprised me About Postpartum Recovery:

1. It can take a really long time. For some it’s a matter of days and others it’s a matter of months. Don’t push yourself, recovery can be slow, allow yourself the necessary time to heal.
2. Postpartum poops are scary. I said it, it’s scary! Whether you had a tear and are worried about the stitches or had a c-section and are worried about your incision, it’s a scary event. I asked my doctor for tips and she said that the first postpartum poop is an event no mother forgets, lol.
3. Bathroom Visits are a chore. I was told to try and pee every 2 hours for the next two months to help my bladder get back to it’s pre-pregnancy state. That doesn’t seem like a big deal but postpartum bathroom visits are a real chore. It looks like this: pee, use a perinatal bottle to spray yourself with warm water, pat dry (no wiping!), put on a pad, line pad with witch hazel wipes, spray yourself with a pain reliever spray. It’s a lot of work! Fortunately this routine gets shorter as you recover.
4. Laughing, coughing, sneezing and walking all hurt. Who knew your pelvic floor was such an integral part of everyday movements. I really feel for any woman that has a cold or allergies while recovering.
5. You may not be able to lift anything heavier than baby: I had heard this about c-section births but not about vaginal. My midwife advised me to lift nothing heavier than 10 lbs for a few weeks.
6. That the above is all super common, yet before giving birth I literally had no idea about any of it.

And now here are some items to help with recovery:

• Hospital Goods: Take as much from the hospital as you can! Stockpile the mesh undies and pads and take home a good stash. If they offer you ice packs, cooling witch hazel pads, sprays, etc-take them home with you. And while I’m at it, take as many baby diapers, wipes and swaddles as you can get your hands on. I recommend bringing an empty duffel bag for all the goods.
• Perinatal Bottle: The hospital will likely give you one of these, take it home. And if where you live has multiple bathrooms that you intend to use during recovery, ask for multiple bottles. We live in a two story house and I quickly realized I needed to stock a bathroom on each floor with recovery products. I bought the Fridababy Momwasher as a second one to have on hand.
• Frozen Padsicles: Make these frozen pad concoctions prior to birth and store them in the freezer. Here’s the tutorial I followed and these are the products I used: Seventh Generation pads, Organic Aloe Vera, Alcohol Witch Hazel, Lavender Essential Oil.
• Tucks Pads: If you’ve never experienced hemorrhoids, consider yourself lucky. From all the pushing, you may have to deal with them postpartum. Just another fun part of recovery. Tucks pads help.
• Shower: This is a simple one, but once you feel up to it, take a shower. My first shower at the hospital made me feel so much better. Since being home, I take 2-3 showers daily (if there is someone home with me to watch Millie). I stand under the hot water for about 10 minutes and it’s the best I feel all day.
• Take Your Meds: This experience made me realize I’ve never had to take a lot of meds/supplements and I was not used to this. I went home with 3 different pain relievers, Iron, Vitamin C, stool softeners and am taking postnatal vitamins. It was a lot but all are important. Come up with a system to stay on top of your meds.
• Stay Regular: Noted above, the bowel movements are scary after having a baby. It helps if you can keep yourself regular. Definitely take the prescribed stool softeners and also eat lots of fiber. Think fruits and veggies and take it up a notch with a high fiber cereal and prunes or prune juice. Kind of gross but helpful.

This post turned into quite a beast! Again, this is not meant to scare mamas-to-be, but instead to share an honest and real experience in hopes that other moms will be better informed and less surprised if they experience similar things.

Also worth noting that childbirth really makes you lose your inhibitions. This post is a little TMI and never did I think I’d blog about tears and poop, but here we are! If you have any questions or things to add, please message me or share below.