I’ve heard this Eleanor Roosevelt quote a million times and I always think, if I did something every day that scares me I’d probably be dead in a month. I don’t think doing something that scares you every day is an obtainable goal but I do think doing things that scare you every so often is something to strive for. While I was in Costa Rica for surf camp with Pura Vida Adventures I had to do something that scared me, I had to face my fear of the ocean. Why would someone who is afraid of the ocean sign up for a surf camp? Well my desire to be a cool surfer girl outweighs my fear.
I love the beach but ever since I was a kid I’ve been weary of being pummeled by huge waves and being dragged out to sea with the undertow (I remember kids being rescued daily at the Jersey shore and this fear has stuck with me). While at surf camp, surrounded by two very knowledgeable instructors, each day I headed out into the ocean. We started small, surfing in the white water once the waves had already crashed, the water being about waist deep. When the waves came the water sometimes went over my head but for the most part I held it together and wasn’t too afraid of the ocean. The tricky part was navigating an 8’6 surfboard while making my way through the waves.
[I’m on the far right, can you feel my struggle trying to carry around this huge board?]
I got pretty comfortable in the water so by day 5 when the instructors said we could go further out beyond where the waves break I auto-pilot answered nope, I’ll stick to the small waves where I can stand. But then I thought about it more and even though I was scared, I wanted to do it. I knew that if I let fear take over and didn’t even try I’d regret it once I got home. Nervously I made my way out past the wave break. Actually, I tried and failed. Every time a wave came and crashed over my head it pulled my surfboard behind me, dragging me back, making me start the process all over again. After a few waves crashed into me knocking me over (where I couldn’t stand) I decided to turn back. The other two girls heading out had already made it past the breaking waves and were sitting pretty on the boards in the calm water. I however was stuck in the worst part of the break, continually being crashed on every few seconds.
[this is me practicing in the smaller waves but imagine me trying to swim through that crashing wave way in the back…that’s what was happening over and over again]
A panic sunk in and I headed back to the shallow water. Seeing my struggle, my other surf instructor Brett came over and said “we’re getting you out there, you were so close.” I responded with “ummmm I don’t know…I don’t think i can do it.” I really wanted to do it but it wasn’t seeming possible. Nope, Brett knew I could do it and with his help, I made it past the break. Listen, it was completely terrifying and I was freaking out but I made it out there. Once out there I met up with the other two girls and our other instructor, waiting for the perfect wave. Waiting in the calm water was nice but I had the underlying panic that eventually my wave would come and I’d have to attempt to surf it in order to get back to shore. Waiting for my wave gave me a lot of time to think. Very rarely are you faced with things that scare you. I do a lot of hard things, but not scary. Running a marathon is hard but to me, it’s not actually scary. It’s just running and if you’re tired you walk. Battling waves with a surf board way bigger than me, that was scary. To keep myself calm and get past the fear I thought about the worst case scenario. So I get knocked around a bit. If i followed what my instructors taught me, I’d likely be ok.
I was able to calm myself down and wait for my wave. Eventually that wave came and I paddled for it. The only thing I could think about was that I better make this a good try solid try because I didn’t have a desire to push past the breaking waves to try again. I paddled hard and popped up on my board, just like I’d been practicing all week. By some miracle I stood up and rode the wave! After a few seconds I wiped out but before that I was totally surfing an actual wave. I was a surfer! The wipe out came towards the end of my ride, I got knocked over by the wave but I did as I was instructed and everything ended up just fine.
Post-wipe out I spent the rest of the day with the smaller waves working on my form. I know one day I’ll make it back out past the wave break and give it another go. I actually loved it and looking back, I’m so happy I left the fear behind and went for it.
When you’re faced with your fear, think about it logically. What is the worst case scenario? Are you prepared for what’s ahead? If you are prepared you have to hope for the best and give it your all. Get past your fear and do something that scares you.
Taking this leap and facing my fear has inspired to be more adventurous and try things I previously thought I couldn’t do. I owe a big thank you to my Pura Vida Adventures surf instructors for helping me to prepare properly and push past my fear.
Do you do things that scare you? What fears are you working to get past?
