This is the first time I’m opening up my computer since the birth of Baby Millie! I don’t want to forget any of the details of her birth so I’m going to jump right in and share the story. The whole thing is somewhat of a blur so let’s see what I can accurately remember.
Millie’s due date was June 7th and it’s really common for first time moms to go beyond their due date, so it wasn’t too surprising that June 7 came and went and baby M was still on the inside. I had an appointment on June 10th to check on things and to proactively schedule an induction for June 14th (one week past the due date). At that appointment I had my membranes swept which can sometimes help bring on labor.
That night MM and I had our typical evening. We went out to dinner, came home, watched some TV and got into bed. At 1am on June 11th I got up to go to the bathroom. When I got back into bed my shorts were wet. Not soaked and there wasn’t a huge gush of water, just wet enough to question it. I went back into the bathroom, put on another pair of shorts and got back into bed. A minute later those were wet. One more time went into the bathroom and this time skipped shorts and just put on different underwear, got back into bed they were wet.
I decided it was time to wake up Matt. I shook him awake and said ummm something might be happening? Everyone assured me that it is super obvious when your water breaks, many women say they feel a pop and a huge gush. I didn’t feel that but know that if your water does break, it’s important to address it immediately to avoid infection. While Matt jumped out of bed, I called the Labor & Delivery line at the hospital for advice.
I described what was happening and they said it sounded 50/50 that my water broke or that it was just other leaking (another fun part of pregnancy!) and that I should come in with our hospital bags just in case. I was ready in about 1 minute. Threw some last minute things into my bag, got dressed and was ready to go. I sat on the couch laughing as Matt tried to get pull himself together. What should I wear? Sweats, shorts? Did I pee? Do I have everything? Eventually he got himself together and at 2am we headed to the hospital.
Upon arrival I was brought into the birth triage room. First my belly was hooked up to monitors for about 20 minutes to measure the baby’s movement. Then the midwife tested for the presence of amniotic fluid to see if my water broke. She said she thought it looked like it broke but would have to run the test and we should hang out. I really truly thought it would be a false alarm. Only about 10% of women’s water break before they start contractions and I didn’t feel that huge gush. I was pretty sure we’d be sent home.
A few minutes later the midwife returned and said your water broke, you’re staying the night! It was pretty surreal to realize that in a matter of hours our baby would be here and this was all really happening.
I snapped this pic right after they told me we’d be staying. Last pic of baby in the belly!
We were then immediately moved into the labor room. The good thing about your water breaking is you don’t have to wait to be admitted, you’re given a room right away. When your water breaks first, the hope is to have your baby born within about 24 hours to avoid infection.
We got situated in our room and I got hooked up to monitors. I was then given a tiny pill that is supposed to help your cervix dilate. And then we waited. The pill is given every 4 hours and the hope is that it will jump start your contractions. Once on medication I was also required to be monitored nonstop. I had two doses of the pill over an 8 hour period. During the first 4 hours I didn’t feel anything but the screens were showing that contractions were starting. During the second 4 hours I could start to feel the contractions but they were light and not particularly painful.
And then if I remember correctly, after about 8 hours the contractions really started to kick in. I was feeling them and they were painful but not excruciating (yet!). The midwife wanted to get stronger contractions going and recommended starting pitocin. I gave it a bit of time and worked my way through the current contractions. They were gaining in strength and were harder to get through. We did very short walks through the hallways, did one short walk outside (it was about 95 degrees out) and used the birthing ball in our room. At some point they checked my cervix and I was 2.5 centimeters dilated. Because my water had broken, they didn’t want to check often (again because of possible infection).
The contractions were now pretty painful. I was also experiencing pretty intense chills/shaking, which apparently is normal during childbirth (they were on and off during labor and actually continued until about 24 hours post-delivery).
I had a lot of fear around starting pitocin because I knew it would mean more painful contractions. I’m not much of a crier but I was in tears because of the fear and the pain and just that everything was so real! Childbirth is an emotional process. The entire time, Matt was so supportive and helpful. Helping me breathe through contractions, encouraging me, and helping me stay strong. I can’t stress enough how amazing it was to have a supportive partner in this process.
Eventually I had to just go for the pitocin to move things along. Around this time was also when I was starting to feel ready for an epidural. I always planned to get one but had wanted to wait as long as I could. I can’t remember the exact timing of it all but I started on pitocin and also officially requested the epidural.
I also was feeling scared about the epidural. I had heard it was like magic and didn’t really hurt going in, but I couldn’t believe that because it’s a huge needle going into your back, how can that not hurt?
The woman came in who would administer the epidural and she did a great job. You have to sit in a weird hunched over position and cannot move at all. While this is happening, there’s a good chance you’ll have a contraction and I was worried I’d have to move. I just got into a really focused zone and didn’t move at all, even during a contraction. It’s true that the epidural does not hurt and it is like magic!
Shortly after the epidural kicked in and I couldn’t feel the contractions. I could see them on the monitoring screen but couldn’t feel them. I was numb from the waist down but I still could move my legs a bit. The epidural totally took the edge off and I went from being in excruciating pain (literally crying) to being totally relaxed and could sleep through contractions. I can’t remember if I napped or just relaxed, but I hung around in bed (once you have an epidural you can’t get out of bed) for a while.
At some point they decided to check my cervix again and I was now at 10 centimeters! The last time they checked I was at 2.5 so this was pretty wild. The midwife said since I was at 10 it was time to prep to push. The nurse came back in and said actually we’d wait another hour to give the baby a little more time to drop and potentially lessen the push time.
So I relaxed for another hour. It was pretty surreal at this point knowing that in a matter of a few hours the baby would be here, finally!
An hour later the pushing began. Since I had an epidural I was expecting the pushing to be hard but not painful. I was wrong. I unfortunately still had a ton of pain during the pushing period. I think I may have been having back labor because my back was killing me with every contraction and I was also in some pain in between contractions. In our childbirth class they said that between contractions you feel no pain. I felt pain and on top of that you’re just sort of waiting for the next painful contraction so you can’t truly relax and forget the pain.
The pushing process is a strange one because you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing. It’s not something you can practice and you have to learn as you go.
If you’re lucky, you’ll have a strong nurse who can coach you through it and thankfully I did, our nurse Nikki was amazing. I went through a variety of push positions in bed–laying down, using a squat bar while still laying down, standing into a squat position on the bed, etc. Contractions last about a minute and during that minute you take big inhales and give 3-4 pushes as hard as you can, holding them for up to 10 seconds each. People said childbirth is exhausting and the pushing was extremely tiring.
Nikki said when we got close she’d call in the midwife in. It felt like forever until we were officially close enough to call in the midwife. Throughout the process I was having my blood pressure and temperature taken about every 30 minutes. At some point I had an elevated temperature over 100 and the staff kept a close eye on this. All of this was making me nervous but I knew we were getting close and really just wanted to get this baby out.
And then the midwife was finally called in. I figured at this point I had maybe a handful of pushes to go. I lost total track of time but it felt like 45 more minutes worth of pushing with the midwife there (literally no idea how long it was but it felt like forever!). With every push I thought it would be the last one and the baby would be out. But nope, so many pushes! At one point they told me to reach down and I could feel the baby crowning. Which meant I was super close but also it still took so long. There was an insane amount of pressure as I made my way through those final pushes.
All of the sudden with one final push at 2:38am on June 12th, Millie was out! It took about 2.5-3 hours of intense pushing. I’m not a huge crier but I was full of tears when she was officially out. We finally announced to the room that her name was Millie. I couldn’t believe she was here and was so relieved to have made it through. Millie cried for about two seconds then quieted down. She was a little bit purple and had one eye open looking around the room.
She was pulled up onto my stomach as they waited for the placenta to come out. I guess the cord was sort of short so she couldn’t make it all the way up onto my chest until the placenta came out a few minutes later. Birthing the placenta is a weird feeling, sort of like you are birthing a big bowl of jello, ha.
Once Millie was out, we waited a few minutes, Matt cut the cord and we started our skin-to-skin time. After about an hour, Millie spent some time with Matt and we just took it all in.
I think we all know that childbirth is going to be hard, but there is no way to know what it’s really going to be like. I’ll be honest and say it was so much harder than I anticipated. I read all the articles and took a birthing class but nothing could have prepared me for the experience. Also, you have no idea what sort of birth process you will have. From the time my water broke to the time that Millie arrived was approximately 25.5 hours–a long time! Childbirth is exhausting on it’s own, and when it takes that many hours it really takes it out of you, both physically and emotionally.
Though the hardest thing I’ve ever done, it’s 100% worth it to bring little Millie into the world! We’re so thrilled she’s joined our family and couldn’t be more in love.
The recovery period following Millie’s birth was also another shockingly hard process and I’m going to share that experience with you later–but for today I want to focus on Millie’s entrance to the world!
Thanks for reading and helping us welcome this sweet little bundle into our family!
